Twenty Ways to Allow You Children to Become

Sitting in a restaurant on the evening of Brett’s award ceremony at Oklahoma State University, John and I wrote down the twenty things that we felt were the most significant things we had done to allow our children to become. We didn’t have any paper with us, so we wrote the “20” on a napkin! After telling a few clients and friends about the “20,” they mentioned that it would also be used for team building – if you take out the words “parent” and “child.”

As you will come to realize in reading this blog, we believe that we–the members of our family–are a team. Individuals who will thrive in an environment of trust and love; who will add joy and prosperity to the world if encouraged; who will be proud to be a part of a team that believes in each other and in the mission that is the heart of its purpose.

My professional definition of a team is, “A group of leaders working toward a common set of goals. ” That works for me when thinking of family.

A family is a strong team of individual leaders who are clear about the values and goals of the family and who work toward the carrying out of those goals. A family team doesn’t squelch the talents of it’s members, but strengthens those talents; doesn’t tear away from each other but builds each other up. It’s members feel a bond and a tie with each other and remain dedicated and devoted to one another for a lifetime.”

The following twenty parental objectives have allowed our children to “become.” Each of these twenty commitments will be featured in different blogs filled with extended thoughts and guidance for you. I know that you are as devoted to to your children. Your children are a gift to you. We pass on our words of encouragement to you in your endeavors to “allow your children to become”. God bless you.

1. Tell your children of your problems and let them join in the resolution process.

2. Share your successes and setbacks openly with them.

3. Let them see you work toward the achievement of goals. Find a lifetime career that brings you joy and satisfaction and let your kids know of the joy that you receive from your profession.

4. Stress the quality of time rather than the quantity of time. When you have quality time with each child– make it quality. Focus on them.

5. Study and practice excellent communication skills.

6. Expect excellence from them. Be able and willing to say “No, that’s not the best you can do!”

7. Express pride in your children.

8. Tell them that you love them.

9. Allow your children to see you read and study. Be constant students.

10. Share the rewards of your success with your children.

11. Allow them (give them) space to make decisions. Let them make mistakes. Learn together from those mistakes.

12. Teach them the benefits and skills of goal setting and goal accomplishment.

13. Let them see you committed to your parents and family.

14. Make time for your immediate and extended family.

15. Worship together–unashamed.

16. Be a role model for all you hope for your kids.

17. Play with your kids.

18. Listen to your kids without judgment.

19. Show affection for each other in front of your children.

20. Laugh with your kids.