Fear of Failure: A barrier to goal setting
For some people—maybe you–their inner “self-talk” feeds negativity into the subconscious about goal accomplishment. You might recognize that voice: “Oh, really? You think you can do that? Well, you cant.” or “Who do you think you are? You know you can’t do that.” or “You don’t deserve that.” And so on. Negativity that you have created yourself or negativity that has been fed to you throughout time.
Negative thoughts or feelings that continue to creep into your awareness, may generate some of the following thoughts:
“I don’t feel great about myself. I’m not sure of myself. I don’t want to write down any goals. I don’t really believe that I can accomplish this. People will think I’m stupid for writing down that goal. They will wonder, who do you think you are? I’m afraid to make this kind of a commitment to myself and to anyone else. It’s easier not to make a commitment and it is a whole lot less risky. I can go along being “AVERAGE” like the rest of the world and no one will notice.”
FEAR. The only way to overcome a fear is to face that fear “head on.” When people face a fear, address it, and survive, they move toward overcoming the fear. However, if you are apprehensive about writing goals because of your own lack of self-confidence, face your own feeling of inadequacy—honestly—and make an effort to gain confidence: one success, one goal at a time. My own coach, Alan Cohen, says that love cannot live in the presence of fear and fear cannot live in the presence of love. Alan goes on to say, “When the world does not understand, accept, or support yuou, you do not walk alone. And if you should lose faith in yourself, God still has faith in you.”
Sometimes the most difficult person in the world to love is ourselves. And, yet, when we find the good within ourselves and build upon our own strengths, we gain the reservoirs of love we need and want so that we can give to others. Once you begin experiencing your own successes, you will become more committed to the process of goal setting. The joy and enthusiasm that comes from working toward and accomplishing a goal is “catching.” You can’t buy enthusiasm, but you can catch it!!
If you set a goal and you find that you don’t get the goal accomplished. Look carefully at the goal. Do you really want to DO that or BE that or HAVE that? If so, then look at your plan of action. If the plan didn’t get the result you wanted, step back and approach the goal with a different strategy. Learn from each plan—the actions that do and do not work. If you approach the goal-accomplishment process with this attitude—one that says you will learn something of value from each victory and from each defeat—you will be strengthened. Wisdom is the direct result of learning from life’s challenges.
Whatever you do, don’t quit!! Learn from each experience. Learn to turn negatives into positives and your life will be a constant learning experience: And How Exciting That Will Be!
Do not fear the setting of goals. You cannot fail as long as you approach each step positively and with this commitment to learn. However, know that by not setting goals and getting control of your life, you minimize your hope of success and accomplishment.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” –Robert Kennedy